Whew, what an adventure! It’s been ages since I’ve written, but I’ll try to catch everyone up. First of all, raising 10 kids is a nightmare. They are constantly making messes, wanting food, or trying to run away. My humans weren’t a lot of help with any of that. They kept taking them and cuddling them and stuff. Enablers. This was especially bad once we were all allowed outside. Have you ever tried to keep track of 10 kids in a huge area filled with hazards? I tell you, it is impossible. Token helped as much as she could, but even between the two of us, it was just impossible. They were everywhere. And my human mom kept calling them all to her and running away and stuff.
Fast forward a bit and they all kept disappearing. New people would come and one of my kids would leave with them. At first, I was really upset by this. I mean, who did these people think they were? I thought maybe it was because I wasn’t taking good enough care of them, so I nursed them even more and cleaned them constantly so they could have no excuse to take them from me. I really should get a mother of the year award.
But, they kept leaving. I now know it was for the best. There is no way I would have been able to continue caring for all of them and I trust that mom interrogated the new humans enough that they will take good care of my babies. Two stayed here, the little sickly screaming one and my daughter. I love them both so much and they are SO fun to play with!
So, I wanted to write about all of that earlier, but mom was traveling WITHOUT ME and took both computers with her. I mean really, what does one human need two computers for anyway? She is so aggravating sometimes. Then she comes back and is all like “Oh, Bailey, you are so fat,” and stuff. She says we are going to lose weight together. Yeah, I’ll see it when I believe it. I’ll lose weight because she has me on a super strict diet, but she still eats chocolate all the time. Okay, I’ll admit, I’m still a little sore about her leaving for a month. Oh, and then she keeps telling my daughter how much she loves her and how she isn’t like me, but is even smarter. Well, I think that’s an insult, but I’m going to pretend I didn’t get it. Anyway, earlier today she finally figured out that Stella had been scratching the drywall by her crate and had a huge hole in the wall. Ha. Serves her right. At least I never ate the walls. Smarter than me, my tail! Takes after her dad if you ask me, that two-timing, arrogant brat.
Oh, and speaking of her dad… He just prances around all the time and tries to steal my food and I’m like, hey, I’m already on a diet, you touch that, you die. He backs off, but he still just walks around here like he’s entitled to everything. Apparently he got some more ribbons lately. Big deal. I told him that I’m sure if Mom ever took me anywhere I’d get ribbons, too. Probably just for being adorable.
So, I think Mom overheard that and she says I’m going to be in a class starting in a few weeks, then we’ll get to travel and earn ribbons together. I really hope we do, because I would love to shove them in Chance’s face. Oh, and I guess I’d like spending time with mom, too.